Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
