my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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