No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
