You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
