Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
