im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
