Is it normal to miss your booty call?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
