You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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