I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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