this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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