shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
is this the sara with the beer cane?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
