why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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