I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I wish I only lived at night.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
