the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
