Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
