its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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