I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
