At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
