We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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