Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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