fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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