Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
