It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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