I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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