Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
