He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
