so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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