I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
