Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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