no, he came in my armpit
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
