so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
