she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
