spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
