So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
