Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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