I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
