you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
