covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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