I think my fart just growled at me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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