I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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