just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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