I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
