her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
