I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
