She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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