question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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