I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
