I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
