He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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