My hair reeks of homosexuality.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Randomize
