just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
