i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
3pm strippers are depressing
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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