I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
